The thoughts feel different on the surface, but underneath they follow the same strategy over, and over.
4 Minute Read
You May Have Noticed Something
The thoughts feel different on the surface, but underneath they follow the same strategy over and over.
A different situation.
A different “what if.”
The same kind of feeling.
The same desire to figure it out.
Endless attention.
Growing Fear.
What many endure with intrusive thoughts isn’t random.
There are patterns behind the way these thoughts arrive, stick and repeat.
And once you begin to see that, things start to make a little more sense.
#1 “What If” Escalation
It often starts with a simple “what if.”
“What if something is wrong?” turns into “What if I missed something” turns into “What if this gets worse?”
And before long, it feels urgent.
You have to begin trying to solve the fear.
KEY IDEA: What if → Escalation → Urgency
#2 The Need for Certainty
You don’t think to yourself, “Yeah, this will all be okay and work out just fine.”
You say, “I need to be completely sure.”
And until certainty of that level is reached, it feels difficult to move on.
KEY IDEA: Reassurance → Checking → Overthinking
#3 Targeting What You Love
These thoughts often attach themselves to things you care very deeply about:
Your health
Your relationships
Your faith
Your values and beliefs
Your reputation and social standing
You’ve likely noticed that you don’t tend to have fears you obsess over that aren’t significant to you.
For instance :
One individual may not fret at all over whether they are carrying germs––But feel intense anxiety at the thought of doing something embarrassing in front of others:
“What if I lose control and say something I shouldn’t?”
Another may not be bothered by social situations at all––but, feels intense fear around health:
“There is something wrong, and I think I have a disease”
These thoughts aren’t random but connected.
They attach themselves to what feels meaningful, because that’s what gets your attention.
They tend to connect to things that don’t just matter, but feel like you have to have them to have joy/meaning/identity/ and so on.
From a Christian world view - this reveals something deeper than mere wants and desires.
It’s not just something you care about–its something you believe you have to have in order to be okay.
The more something matters to you, the more your mind wants to safeguard it.
Because it’s not just about the thought anymore, it’s about what feels like is at stake.
KEY IDEA: Something you love → Fear of losing that
#4 Endless Attention
The more attention the thought receives, the stronger it feels.
Not because it’s necessarily true, but because you’re treating it like it matters.
And attention reinforces that this thought is significant.
KEY IDEA: More attention → Greater significance
#5 Short Lived Relief
You analyze the thought, seek reassurance, or try to resolve or solve.
You might feel better for a moment, but then the thought returns.
Sometimes in slightly different forms.
And the spin cycle keeps going on and on.
KEY IDEA: Relief and easier now → Harder later
RELATED READING
Hub 2 - Stuck Thoughts - Open-Ended Investigation: why the question can remain open even after you receive an answer.
#6 “This One is Different”
Even though you’ve gone through this many times over, each time can feel different and equally as real.
“But what if this one is actually real, or this situation is different?”
This is what you tell yourself. This is what you feel.
Suddenly, there you are again, same response as before, same mental ritual, same reassurance seeking, same fear-driven response and now you’re stuck.
KEY IDEA: Slightly altered details → Same response as before → Downward spiral
#7 A New Response
From a faith dynamic - recognizing these patterns and how they function can be freeing.
You begin to recognize that this is a ritual you are doing, a ritual driven by fear.
You begin to see that your hope for relief is based on doing the ritual of reassurance just right. But there will always be another layer, another fear to be answered.
You begin to see that seeking relief in mental exercises and thinking ‘good’ thoughts, drives your attention to the event as a whole, and you’re running on a treadmill.
You begin to realize that these thoughts are a reality in a broken world, and that you never are going to be able to out think it, you can only ignore it and move forward.
You realize that your issue is not an absence of trust, but a trust in the wrong things.
You realize that you have to begin to acknowledge and live with uncertainty.
You realize you have to shift from “what if” → “EVEN IF.”
Even if it is hard to keep going forward and ignore these thoughts, I am going to.
Even if I don’t know how all this will turn out, I am going to get busy doing the things God has called me to today.
Even if this feeling doesn’t go away, I am going to trust outcomes to God and set one foot in front of the other today.
KEY IDEA: Old response → Old results
Hope for Today
When you begin to see these patterns for what they are, something shifts:
The thoughts may still return (though, likely in diminishing amounts, see article: Do intrusive thoughts ever actually go away?)
But they will be less confusing and dominating, because you understand they are just thoughts.
AND
You begin to recognize what’s going on beneath the surface.
You have a new way to respond.
You choose to not engage the thought, and focus on what you are responsible for right there and then.
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