Why trying to figure out Intrusive thoughts make them worse.
Trying to solve an intrusive thought, is often the vary thing that makes them bigger than they are.
5 Minute Read
Terry didn’t plan to spend the next 20 minutes thinking about it.
He was at work as an engineer.
It was just a thought.
He has lots of thoughts.
He admits that most thoughts are quick, sublte, easy to brush off.
But something about this thought didn’t sit right.
He kept saying to himself “that is so bizarre” and “why did I think that?”
He hesitated as his secretary Rhonda asked him for something, but he barely heard her, his mind was racing.
He gave her a dismissive answer, because what he really felt he needed to do right then was “I just need to think this thorough one more time.”
He was used to solving things, this was just one more thing needing a solution, and then he could move on with the task Rhonda spoke about.
Diving into the Details
So Terry goes back over it.
What exactly was the thought he had had?
And what did that mean, was his mind trying to tell him somehting, did he miss something.
He begins to rehearse all he knows on the subject or thing that is troubling him.
He knows it’s even silly.
So silly, he would be embarrassed to share the thought with someone else, because they’d chuckle and say “that’s weird” and then move on with the conversation to something else.
Terry is a responsible guy, he’s always had attention to detail.
He is reliable, trustworthy, and likes to think he even would be described as someone of integrity.
“So, best to make sure about this thought, do some mild investigation, seek out some reassurance somewhere.”
He gets closer to an answer: “Okay, good, thats fine–I think I am okay.”
But then: “What if I’m not.”
That shifts everything.
The Merry-Go-Round
I recall always loving a good old fashioned, unsafe, Merry-Go-Round.
That is, until you find yourself going so fast that:
You’re unable to stop and unable to get off.
You’re stuck! And things are getting scary.
However, Terry is a smart guy, he is going to deal with this and move on, very quickly.
So, Terry goes back again.
This time slower.
More carefully.
Trying to make sure he didnt miss anything.
The More He Thinks, The Less Certain He becomes
The speed of things begins to increase.
The more he thinks about it, the less certain he feels.
He now analyzes every detail.
Every single stone get’s overturned.
Well, at least he hopes so.
The thought that started as a passing thought is now the thing his mind keeps returning to.
Not because he wants it to - but because it’s never quite settled.
That feeling. It’s lingering.
Then, Rhonda his secretary rings though.
She is giving him another gentle reminder, everyone is waiting on him.
“Just a second, I’m almost done with something,” he says somewhat coldly and mildly frustrated at her.
He begins to get out of his seat and head to where he is needed.
“Oh, wait” he says to himself silently.
Realizing there was something else related to the intrusive thought that he hadn’t quite squared away.
He sits back down.
And begins again.
Terry Isn’t Crazy and This Isn’t Unusual
Terry is doing what most individuals naturally do.
When something feels unresolved, they think it through.
But with OCD, Anxiety, and Intrusive Thoughts, that instinct can quietly keep the cycle going.
Some researchers and clinicians have observed that the brain tends to strengthen the pathways that is uses most often.
The more a certain mental route is taken–the more familiar, and easier to access, it becomes.
So when a thought is revisited over and over–not only does it stay active, but the mind becomes quicker at returning to it.
In other words, the mind gets better doing what is does a lot.
So, every time Terry goes back to, “Just think it through one more time.”
He’s not only trying to solve the thought.
He’s also strengthening the path that leads him back to it.
Four-Wheeling
I used to ride a Honda four-wheeler quite a bit, and the field and woods that I drove through over time used to get quite worn.
Over time, I recall that at the end of this one path that I often used for covenience that it had begun to develop some deep grooves and ruts.
The more the trail was ridden, the deeper the grooves became.
Until one day, I was riding and I got stuck.
However, I believed that I could keep going that way and I would be able to get through, “Quickly.” Unlike before.
Unfortunately, that’s not how it went, and every time I would go that way, I got stuck.
There I would sit as the tires spun, but I got nowhere closer getting out.
The harder I revved the engine. The more overheated everything became.
That is how it can feel for those who are stuck in OCD, Intrusive Thoughts, Anxiety.
They say, “I’m going to go that way one more time, it will be okay.”
Only to get to stuck again.
Obviously, I needed to learn a new path forward.
But, humans are creatures of habit.
And as long as I did the same thing, I got the same result––stuck.
Some thoughts simply aren’t going to be able to be resolved.
The more you spin your wheels, the deeper you will get stuck.
You have to learn a new way forward.
Hope For Today
The instinct is to fully resolve a fearful or disturbing thought.
The attempt or ritual that we do to reach certainty before moving on – can slowly become the place that we look to for peace and tranquility.
So why does trying to figure it out make it worse?
Because you are only digging ruts further down.
Also, and arguably, you are not being responsible by sitting there trying to solve the same thought over and over, giving it endless attention, and taking you away from what you SHOULD be doing.
If you keep engaging the same thought, rather than resting in what is true and learing to live with the uncertainity, you will live in a life that begins to feel like the movie ‘Groundhogs Day.’
The peace you desire will not come from trying to answer every question or analyze every variable.
But there is another way forward.
And that way isn’t thinking harder.
It’s learning to respond differently when the thought shows itself.
Likely it will involve bringing in family, counselors or loved ones to assist you.
Life has endless scenarios and “what ifs” and you have to give them less attention, and learn to say “even if.”
If you’d like to keep reading, you can find more here →Articles
And if talking it through would help you, your always welcome to reach out and schedule a one-on-one meeting to walk through this together.